I am a super people pleaser. I am, I swear. Some people will disagree with this admission because over the years I've developed a healthy sense of when to say, 'no,' and I have worked hard to have good boundaries with those around me. But, please know, at the heart of it all, I really want people to like me, all of the time.
And, I ask you, who doesn’t? Who wakes up in the morning and thinks about who they can piss off that day? Or what enemies can they make to ensure that their life is even more dramatic and stressful? No one. Even the people that you think might actually operate that way, do not.
So, everyone wants to be liked by everyone else for the most part. But, here’s the thing and the main point I’ll be making this week. You start to practice yoga, you stumble upon a meditation practice, read a crazy inspiring self-help book, or hire a life coach, and it changes you.
If you commit to it, you won’t be able to help yourself from the change. It just goes with the territory. And some of the people that liked you before are not going to like you at all. Why? Well, there could be so many reasons! Including, but not limited to:
- You smile more.
- You are kinder to your Self.
- You no longer really enjoy sarcastic or self-deprecating comments.
- You stand taller.
- You have more confidence in the way you walk, talk, make decisions, say hello, approach problems/situations, etc.
- You don’t have a ton of time or tolerance for gossip.
- You have big goals that you want to crush.
- You have empathy and love for EVERYONE around you.
- You want to live a full and fantastic life surrounded by truly supportive people.
This does not bode well for the crowd you might have been hanging around with before the yoga or meditation, or whatever change-agent crossed your path. If you change, it can make some people in your life incredibly uncomfortable. "Who are you to be happy, successful, and fulfilled?" they will think.
That being said, some of your crew will make the change with you. They won’t be threatened by your change, but instead sit down next to you one day and ask what the heck are you doing and how can they get started, too? And that’s when you know you are on to something. Just by embracing everything You are, you start to inspire others. That is the super coolest.
But for those that honestly don’t like you or understand you, I hope you can let go so you can move forward with your life and allow all of the good things to come to you. Not everyone is meant for you. Not every friend is a life-long friend. Not every teacher has to be YOUR teacher. Not every colleague will understand your path or make the same decisions you would. Not everyone is going to get You, but that doesn’t mean you try to fit into their box, dull your shine, or try to conform.
Please know that not everyone was meant to be in your life your whole life. Souls meet, learn what they can from each other, and then move on. Some souls will be together for the whole adventure. Embrace each soul you come in contact with. We are all coming together for a reason. For the ones that move on, or decide they don’t like you, have the strength to wish them the best on their journey. By them moving on or by you letting go, you now have the chance to let new relationships form or positive relationships grow stronger. No matter what, it’s all going to be okay.
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Tori Hicks-Glogowski is a yoga instructor and yoga business coach and mentor for yoga teachers. She is the author of the book, "Views from the Podium: The Life & Times of a Hot Yogi," and has been writing and sharing her yoga experience for the past seven years. Find out more about Tori now.