I Messed Up Big Time


We’ve all done it. Messing up is a part of life and through the years I have come to see my “failures” as some of my biggest triumphs, or moments where I was breaking through to the other side of something. And this time was no different. I know this now that some time has passed and I can see clearly where I started to veer off my own path.

At the beginning of this year I had a big revelation about where this whole Meet Me on Your Mat thing was going. The possibilities seemed endless. I outlined a book within an hour one day, started to create a program for teachers, came up with new ideas for events and workshops and felt so inspired with the road ahead.

BUT, and this is a big one here. I didn’t take the full leap. I put all of these ideas, all of these possibilities that were lighting me up in new ways, and put them on the back burner in order to give my time to situations that were no longer serving me or supportive of this new chapter in my life. I had one foot in the old world – which was making me feel exhausted with every breath I took there – and one foot in the new world – which was making me feel anxious that none of the fresh ideas were coming to fruition because I had no time or energy left.

And because I wasn’t being true to myself and didn’t have the conversations when they needed to happen, everything kind of fell apart. I took myself to a breaking point. Looking back now I see how imbalanced it all was, but now I know.

The experiences I had this year have made me realize that when inspiration hits, you need to take the leap. It’s scary and wild to turn down extra income or the prestige of a certain goal you used to have the previous year that no longer means as much to you, but this is how positive change happens. We like to inch ourselves into the next chapter of our lives, but you’ve got to turn the whole page and see what happens.

That’s what I learned. Because now that I am in the new world, I will tell you I am still scared and there are moments where I think, “What are you doing, Tori??” but I am happier than I have ever been. My days are filled with people that are excited when I tell them some of my ideas and supportive with where I am going with all of this. I have time to execute my work and connect with inspiring people. I have time to meditate without nodding into a nap. It’s creative and fun, thrilling and nerve-racking, and in so many ways it’s the life I’ve always wanted.

So, often I hear my students tell me about parts of their life that are no longer working as they are now incorporating yoga, good nutrition, meditation, and positive people that are wishing the best for them, into their days. “I’ll give up the job/person/situation/addiction when the timing’s right,” they’ll tell me. “I’m almost there.”

Sound familiar? I’ve been there, too. That’s why I’m writing this. So, learn from my big mess. Make the change now. Your life is ticking by while you wait for the perfect circumstances. It’s going to be uncomfortable and challenging, but the things that change you for the better usually are.

Yoga on, Friends…

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