Well, I’ve been up all night. I think we’ve all been up all night, lately. I know every inch of my ceiling at this point and know all too well Chandi’s growly groan as I flip over on my side for the millionth time in the last hour in the hopes of drifting off to sleep.

We are definitely in unknown territory. And, I believe we’re at the very beginning of whatever this is. But, instead of concentrating on COVID-19... READ MORE

“I fix nothing. I let it go.” - Jean-Paul Sartre

I have this quote, ripped from last year’s Zen Buddhist Calendar stuck to my refrigerator door with a magnet I bought while in Las Vegas when I vacationed there in my twenties, that boldly states in red, “Las Vegas” surrounded by palm trees and other Vegas-y things. For me, right now that quote couldn’t be truer than true which is why on November 8th, 2019, the day after it was displayed on the calendar, I didn’t have the heart to toss it in with the recycling or use it as scrap paper. READ MORE

Feeling “fat” has been a way of being for the past couple of months. I catch myself again and again going back to a teenager’s mind that asks for thinner thighs and a not too poochy stomach, only to press the mental “DELETE” button each time one of these old thoughts pop up, pushing it away instead of facing how I’m feeling. READ MORE

The driveway was almost finished, snow packed up on either side as I looked up toward the house, my breath floating up away from me in a cloud of smoke.

“We’re almost there, Tor!” my mom exclaimed, smiling at me as we shoveled past the line of the sidewalk and started on the final quarter headed towards the street, my 11-year old arms aching with each lift of the shovel.  READ MORE

Well… I’m not sure it’s never been told before. In fact, I’m sure it has, but maybe not in the way I’m going to lay it out for you today. The secret is something that will turn everything upside down. It’s sneaky in its prowess to change your life for the better. It will steal all of the grey, bleakness you have decided life has to offer you and turn it into a technicolor dream rivaling Dorothy’s trip over the rainbow to Oz. READ MORE

My students have probably noticed that when they say the word, “guru,” I bristle a bit. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but often enough to take notice with how it makes me feel. I am so uncomfortable with that word. When I hear it, especially if it is directed towards me and my teaching, I feel needles prick at the back of my neck, as I try and smile at the compliment that it was meant to be. READ MORE

We’ve all done it. Messing up is a part of life and through the years I have come to see my “failures” as some of my biggest triumphs, or moments where I was breaking through to the other side of something. And this time was no different. I know this now that some time has passed and I can see clearly where I started to veer off my own path. READ MORE

The quickest way to change your life is to think new thoughts. Ha! You thought I was going to say go to yoga, didn’t you? But, nope, if you change your thoughts, you will change your life. It’s easy to say, but not as easy to do. It takes discipline. It takes awareness. It takes a willingness that most people refuse to embrace, as it’s much easier to stay in the comfort zone of what they already know and complain about the things they think they cannot change. READ MORE

Well, I feel like a sausage this summer. It was bound to happen. It does every year. I feel fit and comfortable in my body and then… my husband gets the summer off and cooks a boat load of food for EVERY meal. AND it tastes amazing and I just want to sit down and EAT IT ALL. So, I do. READ MORE

I am a super people pleaser. I am, I swear. Some people will disagree with this admission because over the years I've developed a healthy sense of when to say, 'no,' and I have worked hard to have good boundaries with those around me. But, please know, at the heart of it all, I really want people to like me, all of the time. READ MORE

“I hate my body.”

It came out of their mouth with such an ease you could tell it was more than just words. It was an inner mantra that ran through each cell of their being and it froze me to the spot I was standing in and at the same time struck my heart with such an aching sadness that I instantly wanted to wrap them in a huge hug. READ MORE

For as many people as we know in this life, that’s how many versions of us exist. For some we are the friend, the teacher, the student, the reliable one, the trustworthy one, the happy one, the energetic one, the one that pushes us to be better, the one that brings us peace and calm, the one that offers great advice, that always picks up the phone or answers the text, the one that we love, and so on. READ MORE

About a month ago, I started meditating for fifty minutes every single day – whether I want to or not. The meditation has helped me physically and mentally to let go of what is not serving me in new ways: my hip and lower spine seem to be causing me less trouble, I am aware of when I am clinging to keeping things the way I would like them to be instead of letting life unfold before me, and I am happier and full of fresh energy. READ MORE

How often I hear my students proclaim, “I’m old!” like a badge of honor or an idea that was thrust into their minds and stuck there, unable to unhinge its hook-like claws. I always groan a little inside when these words are shouted emphatically in my direction or whispered underneath their breath like a mantra that they just can’t shake. READ MORE

A couple of weeks ago the humidity and heat of a Chicago summer hit the area full on. Although, for some reason, the sun isn’t really shining too much, it is still super sticky. Because of this I have severely struggled in the hot room. As in week two of  Bikram Yoga Teacher Training, wanting to die my heart is pumping so hard, struggled. READ MORE

I’ve been smiling to myself a bunch over the past couple of days.  I was at the salon getting my hair done when the stylist started asking me about my life.  Of course I started talking about yoga – teaching it, taking it, why everyone should do it.  She was very interested and asked some great questions about the practice.  But one has tickled me a bit.  She asked, “Do you live that life?” READ MORE

Early on in my acting career I was lucky enough to be able to fly into New York City and stay with a friend for weeks at a time.  For those weeks I would concentrate solely on auditioning, hitting as many auditions as I could before I would have to go home.  I was looking to book work for the upcoming year or possibly even get my big break – if that possibility even exists anymore, I’m unsure, but I was always hopeful. READ MORE

You always assume you are the only one that needs fixing. You walk into the hot room ready to battle another 90-minute class, laying out your mat with a sigh as you anticipate what’s to come. The other students that surround you seem to have more energy, more understanding of the practice, and in every way look like perfect yogis with the ladies in cute shorts and tops with an obligatory messy, but not too messy, top knot in their hair, and the men in their tech tees and Fit Bits at the ready. READ MORE

Last week I had a someone ask me if I had always been skinny. It was asked in a way that I knew that they thought I was someone that didn’t have to work to be in shape – that I could eat pounds of candy and not even blink about it.  And for some reason this question stopped me in my tracks.  I didn’t know how to answer and actually had to pause and think about what to say. READ MORE

When I was preparing to become a yoga teacher I was aware I would be giving up a couple of things. The first being energy and the second being time. When you teach your energy is no longer yours to spend. Any energy you have goes to your students and whatever you have left over is for you. You are also hard pressed to squeeze in your own personal practice times. READ MORE

On my way to the studio a couple of weeks ago I was listening to the local radio station when they read a letter they received from one of their listeners. The letter discussed how this man had asked her out on a first date and though she was excited to go out with him, she was more than dismayed when she found out he planned on taking her to a hot yoga class. Should she still go out on the date? READ MORE

Students often ask me, “Are you like this all of the time? You have so much energy and are always so upbeat!” I always laugh and tell them they should talk to my husband, knowing full well that his answer to my general disposition being a happy ball of energy would be a flat out, “No.”   I am human like everyone else. I get tired, cranky, overwhelmed, stressed, and at times can be prone to dramatic freak-outs. READ MORE

I often hear people – friends, family, colleagues, and students – say how they wish they could do or have something in their life in a dreamy way, as if a magic genie will come at any moment and grant them their wish.  These are not the material things of the world they are wishing for – it’s not a hot car, or a big house, or some grand vacation.  It’s the stuff of life we all want:  peace, success, and great relationships. READ MORE